Whenever we pack and get ready to go on a trip, it never fails that I forget something on the way there or on the way home. Most of the time it can be replaced. I seem to always remember the important things. Sometimes, though, I don’t. I get dates mixed up and times. I’m a mother. I’ve got three kids, and I’ve now got a calendar that beeps at me to remind me where I need to be, what I need to be doing, and a built in list for shopping and remembering simple things like batteries for remotes.
Does that mean I have ADHD?
I’ve often heard people make remarks of “Oh, that’s just my ADHD kicking in.” or “I guess I’m just ADHD is all.”
Please excuse me while I don’t find these remarks humorous in any manner. To me, it’s like the blonde jokes we all heard back in the nineties. You know the ones, like “How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?” It takes one. Or those remarks of “I guess I’m going to have to go dye my hair blonde” or “blonde moments”.
Even though we can’t choose the color of hair we are born with, we can most certainly dye it. Most people actually find blonde a popular color to highlight or dye their hair. Unfortunately, people with ADHD, can’t dye their brain or change the way it was made to work. We can blame it on genes, on foods our kids ate when they were babies, or we can simply fuss up and accept that ADHD is real and it is no laughing matter.
I know, because I live with it everyday. You don’t have to have ADHD to have it effect your life.
There are two types of ADHD. They hyper kind – ADHD known as Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Or there is just ADD without the H. People with ADD aren’t hyperactive, but they still suffer from being easily distracted, forgetful, and they need a little longer to think and react to situations and learning new things.
Often, ADHD can be so overexert that some children end up with a condition called ODD (Oppositional Deficiency Disorder). Yeah, I know there are days when we’d all like to diagnose our kids with this disorder. It’s where you kid doesn’t listen to you, does the opposite of what you say, and purposely refuses to follow directions. I’ve just described over half the kids in the world. Except, a child with ADHD, doesn’t choose to be this way, they can’t control the things they say, they just blurt it out and they don’t understand they are being defiant, to them they’re reacting to either not understanding what they’ve been asked to do or trying to get the attention of another to say “I need help” without knowing how to say it or admit it.
Then there is this thing called Depression. Yeah, we all know what that is. We’ve all had it to some extent in some point in our lives. For a child with ADHD, it can be even more difficult to over come. If we have one or two best friends in this world, we consider ourselves blessed. Some of us were born to be social butterflies and make friends easy. Not an ADHD child. They want friends, and if they can have one and hold on to that one friend for a long time, then they are doing well. Being lonely often drives depression to the dark depths of not knowing how to pull oneself out. Social skills are learned, and if you’re ADHD, you may not pick up on all these skills as fast or process them as well as another child without ADHD.
And, yes. These children grow up to be adults.
I once took my oldest child to a child psychiatrist when she was five. She was a handful to say the least back then. The psychiatrist told me I had and extremely head strong child, she would grow out of it.
Sorry Mr. Psychiatrist, children with ADHD don’t grow out of it. Left untreated, it worsens and you have an adult who grows up unable to respect authority and unable to communicate and learn to do their lack of skills.
You can’t outgrow ADHD in any form. What you can do is learn to cope with it and acquire the skills to overcome it.
My oldest child has ADHD. She’s a beautiful intelligent girl filled with sweetness, love, and creativity. Everything that girls are supposed to be made of. Only she doesn’t always show it, because she doesn’t know how, and is often not taken seriously.
Today, I wanted to share this post with you. If you’ve wondered about my absence, I’ve spent the last few weeks assisting my daughter with her school work and working toward helping her to make new friends and allow people to see the happy, smiling, beautiful girl I know she is deep inside.
As a writer, I can tell you I’ve learned to put on my “rejection armor” but as a mother, I don’t think there is a set of armor large enough to keep me from feeling the hurt and the pain of seeing my daughter get rejected by other children because my daughter doesn’t always know how to say the right things, or fit in with the right crowds, or have the right answers when the teacher picks on her in class.
So, as you can read. I’m not laughing. I am,however, I’m asking all of you… if you have someone in your life that is effected by ADHD that you pray for them, be encouraging to them, and supportive. Life was not meant to be a serious of jokes, but a network of support for holding up each other when we don’t always have the strength to stand up on our own.
As a parent of an ADHD child, we often have to stand up for our children. If we don’t, who will?